Friday, January 13, 2012

Hello Vodafone - it's Friday 13th!

The Chief Executive


Vodafone House,

The Connection,


Berkshire RG14 2FN

Friday, 13 January 2012

Dear Sir


If you care to examine my customer records you will find that I have called your Helpline an amazing number of times over the past few weeks in a doomed effort to persuade the SureSignal you sold me to work. The SureSignal will provide me with a strong cellphone signal in my home, apparently, as I’m sure you know. There is no cellphone signal where I live, despite my house being 900 feet above sea level and almost the highest point for about twenty miles.

Each time I call I inform you of my cellphone number (both via keypad and voice,) my PIN, the first line of my address and my date of birth two or three times. I have spoken to your Helpline, your Technical Support Department and your Escalated Technical Support Department. I have had your Technicians remotely accessing my computer and my router. They have modified lots of settings. Each call, some of which have lasted more than two hours, ends when your Technician tells me that all is well, I have no more worries and the SureSignal will be working well in 24 hours.

Sadly, events have not emancipated their claims. It still doesn’t work.

I am moved to write to you, sir, because the other day I struggled through to your Technical Department, politely explained the problem for the umpteenth time and the Technician hung up. Fortunately you “record these calls, to improve your service,” so you can check my assertions with ease.

There are insufficient words in English to describe the rage that overcame me.

Nonetheless I calmed and rang again, eventually speaking to a person named Lena in your Technical Department. I asked her how to reset the SureSignal. She was really helpful with a terrific telephone manner. She said that I should:

  • · Press the reset button until all the lights flash
  • · Let go of the button when they flash
  • · Unplog the power and the internet connection
  • · Plug the power and the internet connection back in.
  • · Within six hours it'll be working

I carefully checked these instructions and, as usual was politely told that all is well, I should have no more worries and the SureSignal would be working well in 6 hours.

I followed her instructions to the letter. 24 hours later the SureSignal wosn’t working. I did it again with the same result. And again, It still didn’t and doesn’t now work.

I have tried and failed to to make it work. I wonder if you, as Chief Executive, have been told that:

  • · SureSignals don’t work
  • · Your Technical Department hangs up on callers
  • · You have an excellent, if misinformed, staffer in Lena.
  • · I am the unhappiest customer you have ever had.

You may feel that, in my case, Vodafone has fallen down in the maintenance of its usual high standards. If so, you may want to help me to get my SureSignal working. I would welcome any such feelings and look forward to hearing from you.

Yours sincerely

Jeremy G Barnes

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